Problematic Brain

III 14/09-12

A boy with thousand problems in the head.

Thinking those things want to see him dying on the bed.

Trying to make things perfect, trying not to make a mess.

But perfect things do not exist, can't even reduce stress.

Life is so unfair for a boy against the world.

Like a knight fighting a dragon without a sword;
Trying to reach the clouds with his feet on the ground.
Hoping for positive force roaming around.

Depression. Rejection. Discouragement.
Led him to be malevolent.
He's just a good-for-nothing waster.
He again wasted ink to this bloody paper.

Sketched by Alessia Gasperini

EWAN!

Random Post from a Random Thought 

Ano ba talaga ang gusto ng isang indibidwal? Kung ako ang tatanungin, sa totoo lang hindi ko alam.

Naisulat ko (lang naman) ito bunga marahil ng 'inggit'. Oo, inggit. Inaamin ko. Inggit ako sa mga taong may magandang career na nakapag-aral sa prestihiyosong paaralan tulad ng UP, USTe o Ateneo. Marami akong kaklase no'ng high school na dito ipinagpatuloy ang kanilang pag-aaral. Minsan din akong nagkaroon ng propesor noong kolehiyo na nagtapos sa UP Diliman (isa s'ya sa mga dahilan kaya ipinagpatuloy ko ang pagsusulat). At sa dahilang hindi ako biniyayaan ng ganoong katalinuhan para makipagsabayan eh andito ako ngayon, nakaharap sa screen. Walang magawa. Walang maisulat.

Ang dami kong gustong gawin at 'maging'. Gusto ko maging chef, maging photographer (pwede naman kaso ballpen at keyboard nga lang ang hawak ko), maging astronaut, maging secret agent ng Russia (ayoko sa America maraming conspiracies at puro sila kasinungalingan), maging Poet, at maging author. Gusto ko rin yung isaw, kwek-kwek at danggit.

Ewan ko ba kung bakit, pero basta na lang pumasok sa isipan kong isulat 'to. Kaya nang maisipan kong ilagay ito sa blog eh basta na lang din ang title nito. 'EWAN!' - 'yan ang unang pumasok sa isip ko kung kaya't ito ang ginamit kong pamagat.

Graduate ako ng Nautical Science. At hindi maikakailang gusto ko rin maging Marino. At kaakibat na nito ang pangarap na maging kapitan ng barko. Ngunit ako... Hindi. Malabo pa sa tubig-baha ang pagiging kapitan ko. Gusto ko maging opisyal ng kahit anong klaseng barko ngunit hindi ang maging kapitan. Hindi ko na ninais maging kapitan. Wag mo nang itanong baka magbago pa ang isip ko. Pero kapitan ng barangay? Oo, gustong-gusto! Siguro eh natawa ka? Hindi ako nagbibiro. Seryoso 'ko. Gustong-gusto ko maging chairman ng barangay namin! Sa estado ng lugar ko ngayon na sobrang gulo? Bakit hindi? Hindi ako makakapayag na walangyain ang lugar na tinitirikan ng bahay namin. Ngunit hindi naman tulad ng sa Tondo at Cavite. Magulo na parang hindi na naaasikaso ang kung ano ba talaga ang gusto ng mga tao. Ang gulo 'di ba? At isa pa, ang ayoko sa lahat eh yung may naaabuso at naaapektuhang tao sa mga pansariling luho lamang. Oo nga't walang basagan ng trip. Pero ang papangit ng trip nila!

Nakapagtapos na 'ko't lahat pero 'di ko pa rin alam kung ano ba talaga ang gusto ko sa ngayon. Pero isa lang ang nasa isip ko bago tapusin ang sulating ito. Hindi ko kailangang mainggit. Iba-iba ang kakayahan ng bawat tao, depende marahil sa mukha. Kung pogi ka eh mahina ka pero kung pangit, aba malakas ka. Biro lang s'yempre. Kung bakit kailangan kong hindi mainggit sa kanila, e dahil unique akong nilalang! Thank You Lord! (Dahil ang pogi ko hehe) Ang lahat ng bagay ay napag-aaralan. Kung hindi man ako kasing galing lumangoy ni Michael Phelps, kasing talino ni Sen. MDS o kasing sarcastic ni Bob Ong, kakayanin kong gawin ang mga ginawa nila upang marating ang kinatatayuan nila ngayon. Kaya nga idolo ko si Francis M. eh. 'Dahil 'pag gusto mo ay kaya mo, kung kaya mo ay kaya nating dalawa.' Diba?

Sa ngayon, 'di ko man alam kung ano ba talaga ang gusto ko, ipagpapatuloy ko muna ang pagsusulat. Magsusulat ako. Ng tula, kwentong walang kwenta, mga pangyayaring hindi nakikita o narinig ng madla, bagay-bagay na lingid sa kaalaman ng tao, at magsulat ng libro. Magsulat nang magsulat! Pero lahat ng bagay ay pinaghahandaan. Hindi basta-basta ang pagsusulat. Mahirap maging alipin ng sining (ayon kay Bob). Pero dahil pogi ako e natsa-challenge ako. Kaya sa mga gustong magsulat o ilapat ang sariling boses sa papel o website, ituloy mo lang. Dahil walang nagbabawal sa'yo.

HALT!

A Mother's Day Article

I went to chapel this morning because of three various occasions to celebrate. (1) It’s christening day of my childhood best friend’s son, (2) It is fiesta in our barangay and of course, (3) It’s Mother’s Day!

Ang larawang ito ay hindi pag-aari ng blogger.

When I was inside the chapel, I really did not know that today is Mother’s day until Fr. Caloy greeted the mothers in his homily. I thought of texting her (my mom) BUT it’s my nature not to use phone when holy mass is on-going, so I wasn't able to greet my mama which is in Manila (I’m in our province), maybe later I will. But I can’t help myself, so I texted her right away. I know I cheated. [Sorry ho!]

Anyway back to story…

Fr. Caloy told us that his homily will not be about baptism nor the festival, but all about Mother’s Day. He shared to us the saying “Mother Knows Best” as he became him now because of his mom’s advises. In his experience, he does believe that this quote is quite real. Fr. Caloy told us the story of him when he was still a child that if he didn’t follow his mother, he won’t be in front of us. Little did he know that obeying his mother in such simple things could led him to be a great follower of God. Afterwards, the priest went directly to his main point.

He said mothers are always hungry.  Hungry, because everything she have in her hands and/or was about to eat would instead be given to her hungry child. How unfair for herself! Isn't it?

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Next is, she is angry. Always ANGRY. Angry with your father, with your neighbours, with you, and even with the vendors at the market selling overpriced goods. I bet your mother once got angry with you that she almost told you she wished you've never been brought to this wonderful world? How rude, wasn't it? It is because she loves you so much. She just didn't want what you did or what is happening to you. So when your mom got angry with you don’t stamp your feet or turn your back when she is talking to you. Just DON’T.

Next is lonely. I don’t know why, but the priest said she is lonely. Maybe because of the problems disturbing her every nights, that no one could help not even your father. Alone in solving your financial problems, maybe. Giving her sleepless and stressful nights. Mothers just don’t want anyone in your family to be bothered, I guess.

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Lastly, she is tired. Tired of being a mother of a hard-headed and stubborn 'you'. Waking up before the sun comes out just to prepare everything before you go to school and your dad to work. Makes breakfast, lunch and dinner. She’s the first one in the family to get out of bed and the last one to sleep JUST TO MAKE SURE everything’s fine. Isn't it hectic?

So now, we have Hunger, Anger, Lonely, and Tired. What word formed from each word’s first letter? Yes, HALT. You know what’s halt? It simply means STOP. The meaning says it all. STOP!

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Give your mom a break. Let her rest for a day. It’s now your chance to make it up to her. If you have no guts to say "I love you mom!" you better act like you do! Take her on a date. Treat her in a massage and spa package. Or, do some simple housekeeping. Volunteer yourself to wash the dishes, cook for breakfast-lunch-dinner, and do the laundry thing. I’m not saying do all of these. I just said if you can’t say these three magical words, do something to make her feel loved and remember that the Mother’s Day isn't just a normal day.

Just like Christmas, every day is Mother's Day! So never missed a single day to express your love to your mom! Before you regret it, don't wait for the tic-tac-tic-tac-tic comes, and you know what does it mean...

Happy Mother’s Day to all moms out there!

Seaman is for Feeble Minds Only?

It is said that if you are no good at Math or even in Science, you must take the Nautical Courses. Maybe because they thought the only thing a seaman does on board is removing rusts all day.

Well that's a big mistake! Listen. You read, I mean.

First, one of the major subjects in Marine Transportation is the Navigation. There are 4 branches of Navigation including the Terrestrial, Celestial, Electronic and Dead Reckoning. Celestial Navigation calculates the position of the Sun, Moon and other particular stars inside or outside the Solar System which served as the guiding objects in navigating a vessel through the other part of the world. As well in Electronic and Dead Reckoning, it is necessary to have the 'math-skills' in computing the time, distance, and speed of the ship. Plus the SOCATOA. Yes, the Trigonometry is a prerequisite of Celestial Navigation so it can't be possible that you can take Navigation without passing the Trigonometry [which blew my brain up. Seriously].

In that case, the Navigators have the 'math-minds' and could be astronauts if they want to! So how come others judge seafarers as good-for-nothing and 'tiktik-kalawang' all day?

Let me ask you, how do you think the apple inside your fridge comes fresh and crunchy though it was from Europe or any other part of the Earth? Any idea? Well, that is because of Maritime Industry. Commercial shipping of goods is a multi-billion dollar business. Through merchant vessels [freighters], all goods or raw materials  are contained in a well-ventilated cargo. And it takes only experienced and professional deck/engine officers to handle it correctly and transport it safely and conveniently to its destination.

The brave seafarers together with other OFW's are the main driver of Philippine's economic growth as they remitted more than billion U.S. dollars annually. They considered the 'modern heroes' for what they have done. Leaving their families alone and take the risks of working with different people and culture.

As an idiom says: “Tell it to the marines!”, for they all know what really happens in the world. Well, if you don’t believe me, better tell it to the marines and THEY WILL BELIEVE YOU!

Waiting for FOREVER!

II

I can wait how long it will be.

For my patience was stretched to the fullest.

But please don't forget I'm still waiting.

For every second was longer than the next.

I can’t imagine how far it will be.

For our journey will have no end,

But please come very soon!

My finite physique and time will never extend.

I can take every single while of mine,

Only to be with your forever.

But please worry not to be alone someday,

For I have not wasted a thousand years just to be with nothing.

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Hurado ng Lipunan

I

Trabaho ko nang manghusga ng mga napupuna.

Hindi ng mga tao kundi mga bagay,

Ng mga ginawa hindi ng gumawa,

Ng sinulat hindi ng sumulat,

Ng mga saloobin, hindi ng nakikita ng hubad mong mga mata.

Titignan ka mula ulo hanggang paa.

Mga akala mong hindi dinadapuan ng ubo't sipon.

Mga taong wala namang alahas sa kahon,

Ngunit kung umasta mala-Imelda ang mga braso't leeg.

Mga tunay na salot ng lipunan na hinding hindi mo makikita basta.

Sa mundong ginagalawan, maraming bibig na walang mata,

At mga tainga na walang bibig.

Iilan ang nais sumalungat sa agos na nagsilbing bayani't inspirasyon.

Ngunit ano man ang iyong naiabot sa kultura,

Marami pa rin silang mga hurado kuno ang sa iyo'y manghuhusga.

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